Life if one big roller coaster, up's and down's.

I'm on my way up as of now. I don't think I could get any lower. I've been homeless for 3 years now. Living in tents, under bridge's and in RV campers. Jail a few time along with treatment a bunch!

That's were I'm at now, TX  Cochran Treatment in Maplewood, MN

6 weeks left, but when I get out I will have a place to live. Nice

Peace

Broken Heart

Well, I'm alone again. My women cheated on me and then left me!

I've been going through lot this last few months. I've relapesed an got back up again. I've had a new Lady in my life for the last 4 months and it has been had for me to trust her. I seem to look for stuff to not trust her about. I have caught her lying but have not said any thing because it would be a big fight and Would end up leaving her. I care about her a lot and believe she is some one I can stay with. I pray she is really in love with me, and not just looking for a part time lover. It feels like that some times. I need to take some control back, as I have let her run this relationship for the most part. I'm normally more in control. This is a good week to start that!

I've been back in prison and now TX at Adult & Teen Chalenge for the last 2 months.

Lise is good so far. 

Back in AA

Hello every one? Any one. I'm back in the AA program and have been sober for 2 months.
I went back to Park Ave TX for 5 weeks and now have after care for 12 weeks. Hope to
keep writing some now and then.

Sorry for not writing much on the last few days. I'm doing ok, just seem to be costing along.
Not alot of meaning in my life. Every that seems the same. I think alot has to do with the weather,
and that I'm a out doors person. Being stuck in side all the time makes me down. Any way,
had a chance to work with a cool artist named  Carole Bersin. http://www.raggeddogwalls.com/Bio.html

We painted in the lobby of my building.

I need to do more stuff like this. It helps me feel good about my self. And I enjoy it.

Peace

     This may seem lame, but I had some stuff going on that I need to talk about. I'm realy tired though, and need to sleep plus time to think about what to say.    Did you know your life is what you think it is!

New bike and cooking class

Well I got a new/used bike to day. I hope to be riding as soon as the weather is nice. I need to lose some weight and enjoy riding so it will be good for me. Also I feel at peace when I riding. I enrolled in a cooking class and start in the morning. That should be fun. The first thing we are making is home made bread.Yum..
I really don't know how to cook all that good, so I should get a lot out of this. I have an empowerment group I go to also. Right now we are talking about the subtracter,dividers, adders, and multipliers.These are diffrent types of people and what they bring to your life. Some are good (Adders, multipliers) and others not.I'v been to one sofar and it was good. I'm out of hear...Peace

Slow and easy

Not a lot going on right now. Spending a lot of time going through some paper work to put away.Stuff seems to add up if you don't stay on top of it. Also have been trying to organize my photos. I seem to have copy's of copy's  and it slow going through them all. One of my friends called last night drunk, and I got a chance to hear what I must of sounded like. I know I'v called a lot of people drunk and don't even remember. Sorry if you were one of them. Any way good night. Peace

Low batterys

Well this is what happens when your cam runs out of juice. This cam go's through alot of batterys. One set a day so far.

Target

I had to go on the bus to 3 Targets today. Man what a mess. I spent most of my day mad and really wanted to drink! I hate that feeling. I had wanted to buy a Canon Power Shot SX150 on sell for 99.00$ but down town Target was sold out and Lake St Target sold the one they I put on hold till today. Man did that piss me of. I ended up going out to one of the stores in the burbs to get it I must of spent 4 hrs on that BS...
Any way its a nice camera and its money I will not be spending on alcohol. Well I'm sure know body wants to hear any more of that so good night and Peace.  

New appment

I will be moving next to 402. Its a lot bigger and I have more windows for doing my art work. I'v been feeling pretty good and need to keep make sure I don't let that go to my head. I use to think that if I am doing good I should reward my self. But my brain thinks a reward is to go get drunk. Messed up thinking, I know. Me being aware of that before hand is part of my relapses plan. And to go talk with my sponsor. Any way on my way to work on some computers have a good day every body. Peace

On my way to a better day. I"m feeling good today. Had a rely go meeting last night. And seem to be more focused this morning I have a lot of time on my hands and need come up with some plans to use that tome up. If I stay still for to long. I will start to worry and think about old shit. That will get me in trouble fast.I also need to work on staying on track. I have a way of wondering off easy. Or just plan forget what I am supposed to be doing. Peace

Hi every body I'm feeling better after going on face book and seeing all to people i know.
Was feeling alone for a bit.Kind of hard for me to not have people around me. When I was drinking I had alot of other people around me to hand with and drink. Kind of sad really  I know from my past I will have to gain trust bake.....man hope it (trust) comes some time soon (:  Peace

Not feeling good today. I slept late and stayed in all day. Feeling kind of blue but don't know why? Will be going over to my sponsors house on Sunday for a big book meeting. Should be good. Any way thats all for today folks. Peace

Man was it cold today. I didn't want to go to pc for people today. Then I got there early and had to wait out side for 20 min till some one came to opened the door.I guess we have some big wigs coming by to check out the place in the morning. Maybe we will make the news? My place is starting to look good and feel like a home. I have been putting a lot of time on making it comfortable, but it is worth it. My head is really hurting and am going to bed. One more day down sober. Some one I look up to? That would be my sister. Even though she had a hard life, she still raised some good kids. Looking at my life I have not really had any male role models in my life. Any way Peace          (Me and my Dad before he passed)

I keep looking for something and never seem to find it, so even know what "it" is. Any body else ever feel that way?Kind of like my craving of something and not being fulfilled afterwords. Right now I want a Coke but I know that I'll want something else as soon as I'm done drinking it. That's life I guess. Any body that knows some one poor that is looking for a computer...send them to pcs for people. That's were I work at. Computers for 50 and laptops for 150 plus internet for 10 to 13 a month. You have to have proof that you meet the guild lines for low income. Peace

Not much to say after hearing about Mindy McMready. What a bummer.... Peace Mindy...

Had I good day, went to  a meeting at a church close by, and then came hope and had a late supper. Tacos are the greatest food ever! I'm behind reading out of my Big Book need to keep up on that. I'll read some tonight before I go to bad. My sponsor gave me a big rug for my place to day that was nice of him. My place has cement floors and get cold in the morning. Well my friend came over to talk before he gos to bed so I'm out of hear. Peace